physically
 
what I can and can't do depends on my medical state
(don't be in a hurry to test limits, I was and I paid the price)

there may be pain
Pride forces you to be strong to push on with the hope that it will go away but it
only seems to get stronger and it takes over your life, engulfing you in it's suffocating state.
(if you've been there you understand)

 
emotionally
 
why me
(it's hard not to feel sorry for yourself)

the complexity of medical jargon, procedures, schedules, and bureaucracy
(mass confusion)

the seriousness of NHL causes psychological stress
that varies with the perplexity of the disease
(what did you say?)

 filled with the same old anxieties and fears
and those nagging questions of what to do
(I don't know)

not having a future
(no history to base decisions on when you're entering new territory)

not being good at saying good-bye anymore
(male PMS)

the wait and see process
(probably the most overwhelming of them all)

       during treatment and remission the decision on what doctor to call
(decisions-decisions decisions)

 
socially

relationships change, and new ones are created,
as  people react to the news of my cancer
(you'll be surprised at who reacts well and who doesn't)

that's the dark side of Cancer, the uncertainty of ignorance,
and it's ominous presence in the faces of well- wishers.
(eventually you can see in their eyes)

 
work
 
now I have 2 jobs, normal work and dealing with my disease
(if you weren't busy before you will be now)

 
medical
 
complexity of medical jargon, procedures, schedules, and bureaucracy
and the experience of making it all work
(you can add organized to your transferable skills list)

new adventure on a regular basis
(even when you're not battling it keeps you on your toes)

 
social
 
learning how to become a homebody
or living the life that remission brings
(we're talking extremes - learning to live and loving to live)

 
mental
 
in the battle keeping pace
(being a patient, doctor, employee, athlete, etc. etc.)

during remission something takes me off my perch
and reminds you of the reality of my situation
(the feeling that never goes away)

 
mental
 
knowledge of being there soothes my insecurities
(after awhile you get good at it)

use others personal experiences to enhance mine
(let someone else make your mistakes for you)

 
remission
 
remission brings a mellowed state that allows me to better understand
(things get easier to take)

 live life to it's fullest, while the chance is still there
(when a simple breath means something the potential is endless)

 
mental

I talk to people when I'm scared
(it's all right to admit it, no need to be tough)

I'm prepared to go ten rounds with the big guy
(being positive right from the start is so important)

humour
(laughter heals it's as simple as that)

 
physical

exercise
(helps slow down the aging process)

adapt
(do what you need to do to speed up the healing process)
 

 
family & friends

harness the love from family and friends support
(those in the know don't pity you they admire your will to push on)

 
mental

knowledge is divine
(the unknown scares me more)

listen to what others are saying, feel good about yourself
and harness those feelings towards your will to move on
(believe -harness - heal)

reaching short term and long term goals
(to be honest I thought I would never reach my long term goal)

 
examples

" you're so young "
(haven't heard that one in awhile)

little pimples, strange growths, blotches, pains or phantom pains
(common occurrences after the experience of battle)

 
mental

talk
(communicate about how you are feeling)

look for inspiration (web pages, others)
(build a support network and you won't be so testy)

those who can handle tough situations and adversity
are the ones who are faced with it
(once you accept your disease you won't react so defensively)

remission

calming nature
(it actually gets easier to take and live with)

it takes less and less time to get back on track to a positive attitude
(once you've been there you know what your priorities are)

 
mental

gone were the curious days where I was content
with knowing just enough about NHL to get by
(you will go through periods of adjustments from: )

total confusion ( this can't be happening ), to
denial ( knowing as little as possible is best ), to
curious ( becoming interested ), to
hungry ( need to know )

at first I was embarrassed and ashamed of having NHL but as time went on and
my experiences grew I became proud of what I had been through
(eventually the stats begin to work in your favor)

being informed makes you more comfortable at the decision at hand
(feed the hunger)

there will come a time when your disease needs your full attention
and you'll know when, so accept it when the time comes
(one of the hardest things for me to do)

 
knowledge

research
(the knowledge is out there)

many others out there that are willing to share
(the first step in understanding is communication)

valid decisions provide piece of mind
(do all you can do and you'll feel good about your decision)

 
medical

My specialist doctor and I both agreed it was decision time
(you'll know)

 
physical

now I had to get used to living with the physical presence of cancer for an
extended period of time, and monitoring its growth in between monthly visits
(getting rid of it right away to monitoring growth - big change)

 
attitude

don't get cocky
(be positive but don't take things for granted)

my cancer has the potential to deliver the final blow, and inflict damage
along the way by pronouncing the effects of everything I do
(it can take over your life literally)

to a point worship your cancer
(I do)

 
knowledge

research
(find out what can happen and prepare)

personal medicine is your ability to take care of yourself
and it becomes your chief objective
(especially during recovery)

 
reality

Dad's story
(watching a loved one die from cancer opens your eyes)

 It certainly seemed that the cure was worse
than the cancer sometimes
(still pondering this one)

 
attitude

pay attention
(your body tries to tell you what is wrong, the trick is communicating)

by being informed on all your options and their side effects, it enables you
to take the necessary precautionary measures needed to
promote a faster, safer, and less tiring recovery
(much easier)

 
research

It's important to find out all your options so you can make a decision
that is advantageous to you, but remember your doctor
is more experienced with these matters
(walk the walk and talk the talk)

don't be in a rush to make an important decision unless you have to
( the more time you buy the better)

each of us reacts differently to treatment so find something that works
best for you to work against side effects
(the popsicle became my best friend and together we froze the beast)

 
research

communicate - information oriented society
(helps you find the power)

 
future

future seems even more promising
(I'm starting to believe I may have one)

technology is progressing so fast and my flame of hope grows brighter
each day as new means of treating the disease are tested and approved
and the news of more and more success stories find my ears
(definite strength giver)
 
attitude

feel good about yourself it aids in the healing process
(a must)

life is living and appreciating your fundamental ability to survive
(the joy of remission)

It's not our fault that we have NHL but one thing is for sure,
it takes a very special person to press on under these circumstances
(the sooner you realize this the better)

being positive and feeling good are vital parts of the getting better process
(speaks for itself)

 
faith

Believe - Harness - Heal
(that's the power)

I made a pact with the Ultimate Being that as long as I continue to do good
on this earth then he's going to let me stick around

LONG LIVE NHL'ERS