Finding work in itself is hard work. Finding work with the ever present shadow of dealing with cancer makes it more difficult. You question your abilities, you question your health, you question what you can do and then there's the question of a future. What future they say its incurable and it's just a matter of time. During battle work can be a blessing as a diversion while waiting and worrying but when the stakes increase it loses it's importance in the sceme of things. With remission your back to the reality of finances and working but you've changed. Might as well just tell the story. 

I grew up in a small, Northern Ontario town of 3000 people called Mattawa. It was a combination of mostly French, English and Native heritage. My Dad had me working at a saw mill when I was 15 and provided the tough love I needed when I tried to take advantage of his status at the mill. One memorable occasion after an all nighter (Graduation - no sleep) he had me working with peace workers who get paid for the amount of lumber they pile, while I was on an hourly rate. Those type of lessons kept me in school until I was 27, first attending University for 4 years (79-83) at the

majoring in Environmental Studies and then on to college for 3 more years (84-87) in Resource Engineering Technology at 

COLLEGE

The prolonged schooling resulted in the need for a part time job while going to college and led to accepting a full time position because it was really good money and working with good friends from Mattawa. 

Stronco was and still is a close-knit, family run, trade show company. Basically what I did was help organize and run trade shows of all sizes from shows as big as "The Canadian Federation Of  Independent Grocers" at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre to neighbourhood home shows at local arenas. This was a time of good money and long hours with good friends on a common cause. It was a lot of fun but with the cancer came a need to slow down. I really miss the excitement but not the hours. Stronco is bigger and better than ever and we were good back then, so they must be great at what they do now because it's basically the same family staff that I truly enjoyed working with. Big shows were like old home week in the city, we'd pull in the extra staff from Mattawa.

NHL resulted in a need for lifestyle adjustment and a move to Sudbury, which happened to have a Regional Cancer Centre and was only a 2 hour drive from Mattawa. I bought myself a computer and started to acquire skills on a need to know basis. I wasn't having any luck at finding something I wanted to do and my package was now deemed out of date because of my lack of experience and a poor economy that at the time was downsizing and making it very difficult to find a job in my field.  I decided to take an employment workshop because I was becoming desperate and my E.I. was running out. Mary Kangus who was the instructor of the program believed in my abilities and recommended me to Lynne Wallace for an Employment Counsellor's job with a new program. I went from student to facilitator almost over night and a change in my career direction just as fast. 

Jobs Ontario Training provided me with my first break into a career that means a lot to me. I still remember that first day getting up in front of, to what seemed to me to be a packed hall, to talk about finding work and training. I remember thinking that I was getting over my shyness. Cancer did that with me, it made me more of a risk taker and less of a procrastinator. The experience I got from this position and a kind referral from Lynne has led to 8 years and several contract positions with The Sudbury Vocational Resource Center (Placement/Intake Officer - Employment Counsellor - Computer Instructor - Workshop Facilitator - Case Manager).

Working with cancer was very hard at first. I hid it from everyone. Eventually the staff at SVRC had to be told and they have been extra special ever since.

There came a time when it was as if I crossed a line of personal respect. 
I became proud of what I had accomplished in my situation.

The stats were beginning to work in my favour and I was becoming comfortable with using my example as a motivational tool during facilitation and counselling. My story instantly gives me clout and the premise that if anyone I will understand. Recently I was let go due to restructuring but after a 2 month holiday find myself back at SVRC in another role that is rewarding as all the others have been. Must be the environment. While I was unemployed I even considered finding work in the cancer field and had several good ideas I was working on but backed off because I think that would still be too heavy. The time off was great to learn new skills that I never had the time to do before. It's amazing what you can learn off the net.

I've always been reluctant to really go for the gusto because I was being held back by the uncertainty that living with NHL brings. I don't really know how to explain it but I guess I was feeling "What For"?. As my remission grows longer in date and as I hear more success stories my belief in a future grows in strength.

There will come a time when you really do believe.

Recently a good friend brought me a job add for a regional employment counsellor with OMAA (Ontario Metis Aboriginal Association) which included servicing the Mattawa area. For too long I watched these opportunities pass by and I wasn't strong enough to apply but this time I went for it I (applied on Sunday - due date was Monday - called for interview Tuesday- performed amazingly at the interview Wednesday - offered job Thursday). One of the interview questions was "what's the hardest things you ever did in your life"?. Boy did I have a story for them. Not wanting to get too far off base I asked for a business card and an excuse for future communication by having to e-mail my site address, which provided the chance to follow up. To be honest I went to the interview not sure if I was going to bring NHL up, that's why I didn't have my web page card with me but it worked out for the better. The intelligence of the questioning brought my disease to the fore front and in this case it was used to my advantage for a change. 

When I started my education this wasn't the route I imagined taking but I have accomplished being able to have a few more mom cooked meals. Being an employment counsellor is a grass roots job that is very satisfing especially when former clients years later tell you how you made a difference in their life and you can't help but notice the sparkle in their eyes as they shake your hand and there amazed that you still remember their name.

Working with cancer has evolved from a period of uncertainty to a rewarding enlightening experience because when my disease allows me, I go for the gusto and have fun at no matter what I do. The cancer has made me go after what I want today, because there may not be a tomorrow. Don't let living with NHL hold you back because when you snooze you lose.

Much like the benefits of working out physically,
continually learning helps keep you young or at least feeling young,
so don't be afraid to move on to bigger and better things.

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