!Addicted To The Net!

(Jokes)

You Might be Addicted to Internet if...

.....Tech Supports calls you for help.

.....Someone at work tells you a joke and you say lol.

.....You watch T.V. with close captioning turned on.

.....You Keep begging yours freings to get an account so "we can hang out"

.....Your friends sign on to find you because they if they call the phone will

just ring and ring.

.....There words: Carpal tunnel syndrome.

.....You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your

computer

.....You have a second phone line just so you can call Domino's

.....You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone

know you are going to be away.

.....you have a vanity tag with your nick on it

.....You no longer type preper punctuation,Capitalization,or complete

sentences.

.....You begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing

.....You just HAVE to check your mail one last time before you go to bed,

even thought you were on only five minutes ago.

.....you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you

are on-line again.

.....You know more about your net friends' daily routines than you do your

own spouses.

.....You find yourself lying to others about you time on-line and when they

complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.

.....You would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying to

much instead of the truth (all night on-line)

.....Your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy,please come cook

dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"

.....You marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your own computers

and chat to each other every night from across the room.

.....You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the

same time.

.....your dog leaves you.

.....You have to ask what year it is.

.....You write a letter like this..."dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin will i gotta go

bbl!"

.....You name your pets after people you talk to.

.....You smile sideways.

.....You have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people

you have met are.

.....You look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had you ignore

button handy.

.....You bring a lunch Bag and a cooler to the Computer.

.....You go through withdrawal if you are away from the computer for more

than a few hours.

.....You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line

before you have your first cup of coffee.

.....You have to inject no-dove into your butt to keep it awake

.....You wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from

work.

.....You don't know where the time has gone.

.....You end sentences with three (or more) periods while writing letters in

pen/pencil.

.....Your relationship online has gone father than any real one you have had.

.....You get up 2am to go to the bathroom but turn on your computer instead.

.....You spell things outload instead of actually saying the word.

.....You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo.

.....When you enter an irc channel and 23 people greet you with {{Hugs}}

.....You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme.

.....Your voicemail/answering machine message is BRB.

.....You type faster than you think.

.....You got your psychiatrist addicted to the net.

.....You want to be buried with your computer when it dies... or vice versa.

.....You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted.

.....You can actually read follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your

tv-screen at the end of a movie.

.....You dream in text.

.....Being called a newbie is a *MAJOR* insult.

.....You double click your tv remote.

.....You can now type over 70 wpm

.....You are on the phone for a minute and need to do something eles and say

"BRB"

.....You check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail.

.....You set you kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to

"check your mail" and while you were there you " just wanted to see who's

on"

If you have a Joke you would like added on here contact me!

This site was made with netscape navigator gold on March 14/97

Last updated March 14/97 (C) Cory Grant